Where does the time go? I planned on blogging my first week home and as you can see, I'm a little late...welcome to life with an infant (:
Rhylee made her debut 3 weeks early and was delivered by csection on Wednesday January 4th. She was born at 8:10 in the morning, weighed 7lbs 10oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. Despite the fact that a csection was the last thing I wanted, my delivery went well. Jarrod was the only one allowed in the operating room but my friend Nicole (Cole), sister Melissa and my mom were all there with me before surgery. Nicole met us at the hospital bright and early, 5:30 am, which meant the world to me because mornings are not her favorite time of the day (; And it was comforting to have my sister, who played such a big part in my pregnancy, and my mom there with me.
When I arrived they prepped me for surgery, which turned out to be a little much for Jarrod to handle that early in the morning and on an empty stomach. The nurse had issues with my IV which made me bleed excessively. On top of dealing with me being upset by them poking me, the nurse asked for Jarrod's help while she tried to stop the bleeding. He did but then he quickly excused himself to get some air and food before he passed out. Of course me and Cole got a kick out of it and it provided us with lots of entertainment at his expense.
I was doing ok up until the point when the doctor walked in and said it was time to go. I asked the doctor for a minute to pray with everyone and when we were done we headed to the operating room. My mom was so cute, she walked with us to the doors and tried to persuade the doctor to let her in too. After he told her that he couldn't do that, she asked if someone could get her from the waiting room if Jarrod passed out. I love my mom.
I had to go in the operating room alone so they could get everything ready and give me my spinal. I had to keep speaking truth to myself to help fight the tears because I was afraid if I let one tear fall I wouldn't be able to stop. I kept thinking of RJ while I sat on that table and of all the times he had been poked and cut and how he kept a smile on his face in spite of all that.
I know my fear is not rational but it didn't come from nowhere. When I was 16 and pregnant with Trevor I had never been in the hospital. I labored with him for a day and half with no progress so they decided that a csection was necessary for his safety and mine. All I remember is being strapped to a bed and being in a cold room while they worked on me. No one said a word and when it was over I was sewn and stapled then put to sleep to recover in ICU. When I woke up the pain was so intense, I couldn't walk, cough or sneeze without wanting to die. I know lots of babies are born this way but when you're young it's something that sticks with you and it left me a little traumatized to say the least.
So while I sat on the table waiting for Rhylee to be delivered I tried to block my earlier experience out and focus on what was important, a healthy baby. Once I was prepped and ready they let Jarrod in which made me feel a little better. He sat down in the chair beside me and then they started. A different kind of fear took over then, the fear that Rhylee wouldn't be ok. We went into that room thinking that her lungs could possibly not be fully developed and that she could have downs.
After what felt like an eternity, I heard the doctor say she's breech, which was a surprise to everyone, but we've almost got her. I think Jarrod and I both were holding our breath. Then the doctor said she's here...we sat there waiting to hear her cry and after a few seconds she belted out and we both started crying. Jarrod had been so squeamish earlier but when he heard his little girl cry I think he forgot all about where we were and what they were doing and he got right up to see her. I kept asking what does she look like? Is she ok?
They wrapped her up and handed her to Jarrod and he came and sat down beside me. It's funny because at that moment it wasn't Rhylee that I couldn't stop staring at, it was Jarrod holding her. I don't know why but seeing him holding his little girl with his eyes full of tears was beyond amazing to me. I don't think I will ever love him more than I did at that moment.
So here we are.....four weeks later. I'm still adjusting to life with an infant. I'm finally realizing that sleep is more important than laundry or vacuuming. Motherhood is definitely different this time around because I'm in a different place than I was with Trevor and Mackenzie.
And I have been so blessed by so many friends and family willing to help with meals, housework, taking care of me and Rhylee or just hanging out. Jarrod has been amazing too!! I have to say I underestimated how involved he would be because of how much he works. I can't think of a time in our marriage where he has been more in tune to my emotions and needs than now. He knows when I need to go bed early and he'll pull night shift with our girl. And without fail, when the weekend comes he stays with Rhylee all night so I can get a full night of uninterrupted sleep which does wonders for my attitude (: He also encourages me to get out for a few hours with friends on the weekend. I've gained a new appreciation for him.
HaPpY oNe MoNtH rHyLeE!!