2011 started off like any other year...I made a list of resolutions; put my family first, volunteer more, continue to pursue foster parenting, get healthy, blah blah blah.
The year started off good...I joined a gym, planned more family time and Jarrod and I signed up to begin foster parenting classes. After trying to conceive for 2 years we had resolved that biological children might not be in God's plan for us, and we were ok with that. Fostering is something that has always been on my heart and after a mission trip, Jarrod saw a need in fostering too.
Early in the year I decided to pursue my dream of working in law enforcement. Sounds crazy to go from children's ministry to busting criminals but its always been something I've wanted to to do but because I was a single mom, it just didn't seem like the best career choice for me until I got married.
I had worked at In the Beginning for 11 years and was scared to tell my employer my plans of leaving the ministry but she couldn't have been more supportive. She encouraged me to follow my heart and so I did.
Jarrod was hesitant about it but supported my decision so in March I began my application process with the city and sheriffs department. At the time both had a hiring freeze so on the suggestion of a friend who was in law enforcement I applied with the Department of Corrections. To my surprise things moved very quickly!! By mid April I had applied, tested and completed all of my background checks and was given a job offer at the Women's Correctional Facility in Raleigh.
I put notice in at my job and began preparing myself for my new career....all the while I was unaware that God was preparing me for something else (o: In mid May Jarrod and I discovered we were expecting! After trying for over 2 years you would think I would have been ecstatic but the truth was I was a little upset about the timing. I was finally following MY dreams and MY plan for my life, and a baby did not fit into that plan.
One of the first things Jarrod and I discussed was my new job with the prison. He is not the type of husband to put his foot down but there have been a few times in our marriage where he has been adamant about his decision and I know not to push the issue and me working in the prison while pregnant was something he wasn't going to budge on.
I was faced with the decision to stay at my job, which I knew wasn't God's will, or be a stay at home mom which wasn't mine.
I left my job at the beginning of June and spent the summer with Trevor and Mackenzie. I enjoyed the summer because I got to spend some quality time with my kids and I wasn't burdened by the responsibilities of working and caring for my family. Jarrod wanted me to home school that fall and although I tried to wrap my mind around that and prepare myself for it, I just couldn't. I didn't want to be home let alone be responsible for teaching my kids and trusting that I was going to be a patient and effective teacher for them. Once the kids went back to school and I was left to face the reality that I was now a stay at home mom...I made things unpleasant quick. I was bitter and wanted recognition and validation that what I was doing was still important. Thank God for my husbands patience and love because those first couple of months were rough. Jarrod would compliment me on everything I was doing around the house and even though he worked all day he would come home willing to help in whatever way he could.
Looking back now I feel so dumb that I was so angry about staying home. We've had a few health scares with the baby, dealt with some financial hardships and had some good friends that thankfully weren't shy about speaking truth to me when I needed it most that really helped put things in perspective for me. Now I'm so thankful for everyday I get to be home. I actually find joy in serving my family and being here for them. Being home with them has made me realize how much I've missed. What a difference a year makes in your priorities (:
So for 2012 I resolve to do one thing......go with the flow and follow God's plan for my life.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
