Forgotten Blog

Am I the only person who forgets they have a blog?!

Year End Review

What a year?! For someone who does not handle change well, my year was packed full of it.

We started 2012 off BIG and welcomed our little girl Rhylee into the world. Although we were anxious about the unknown and our 9 month birth plan was thrown out the window, looking back, I wouldn't change a thing.

The next few months were filled with sleepless nights, meltdowns, carpooling and trying to maintain some form of normalcy so it's really just a blur. The saying, "the days are long but the years are short" would define these months well (:

By June, we really found our rhythm with our new family. Trevor just completed his first year of high school...as an honor roll student I may add (: Kenzie was almost finished with her last year of elementary school and was counting down the days until she was done. She hadn't had the best year, personally or academically. She was more than ready for a break. We spent our summer with friends, at the pool, movies, Great Wolf Lodge, Myrtle Beach, parks, and museums. This summer was the first time I've been able to spend so much time with my kids. It wasn't as easy to transition into the roll of SAHM as I thought but there were moments that God pressed on my heart that reminded me why this was so important to our family at this time.

Jarrod and I celebrated our 6 year anniversary in June. We took the kids and our mother-in-law to the Great Wolf Lodge in Concord. We enjoyed an anniversary dinner, just the two of us, at one of our favorite places, Texas Land and Cattle.

July was emotional for me...my baby, my first born, was turning 16?! 16, was this really happening? As much as I hate to let him grown up, I couldn't be more proud of the man he is becoming. He is now old enough to understand and is fully aware that he learns and interacts with people differently because of his Aspergers. I have loved watching him work so hard to not allow his disability to be an excuse for why he can't do something but the reason for why he tries so hard. He is in such a better place than I was at his age. He loves the Lord and you can tell by the way he chooses to live his life. He encourages me in my walk.

And mini-me...can't forget her big birthday in July. Mackenzie turned 11 which in her words, "is practically a teenager". She pushed so hard for a cell phone and was greatly disappointed when she didn't receive one. She is at that age where she is trying so hard to be grown up but still loves being a kid. DON'T RUSH...be a kid as long as you can. I gave up my childhood way too early. I love that she plays with her dolls and still has an imagination. To celebrate both birthdays, we spent a few days at Myrtle Beach with grandma and Chris.

August brought new adventures for our family. I finally got to visit the west coast and I spent my birthday with my bestie in California. After returning from Ca, we kicked off our new school year at Monarch Prep. Although my husband had been encouraging me to home school for some time, I was extremely hesitant. I'm still not 100% over the moon with excitement about homeschooling but I can say that I do find great joy in doing it...even on the difficult days. It's a lot more work than I thought it would be but it's easier than I expected...if that makes sense (:  I realized early in our school year that the kids were really good at memorization but not so good at comprehension. I love the flexibility in our days and that I am able to encourage them in areas they love and in areas they struggle.

The last few months of the year were spent focusing on our big move to Virginia and homeschooling. I did get to spend a birthday weekend with two of my favorite people at the beach in September. Just a girls getaway and much needed for all of us (: Rhylee had her first Halloween and was Cinderella. We spent thanksgiving day at the house, just the 5 of us, relaxing and watching movies. We did get to eat and visit with family the following weekend. We were hoping to be settled in our new home before Christmas but that didn't happen. The holidays looked a little different for us this year; no decorations, no gifts and all my kids weren't home. As hard as this was for me, to not have my ideal Christmas, it was a great reminder about what the holiday is really about. Trevor reminded us that Christmas is not about trees or presents. He kept quoting the Grinch to remind us that Christmas isn't about material things. Gotta love that boy (: Mackenzie spent December with her dad in Illinois. This was her longest time away from home and I think it was harder on me than her.

So here we are...the beginning of this new year. We are counting down the days until Rhylee's first birthday.

Welcome 2013!! My prayer is that I will embrace the trials of 2012 and learn to appreciate the lessons I gained from them.

• Don't sweat the small stuff
• Don't let my wants exceed my needs
• Find joy in my circumstances
• Remember that as much as I try...I am NOT in control

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Adventures in Homeschooling - Day 5 (FrIdAy)

Rhylee's Review

ty6g65r5bn tyg y

\jmn6tjm  ,nm         mkjhu j  'l

(I liked when I got to watch The Letter Factory and when aunt Lisa came to visit and when my sister taught me about the alphabet)

Mackenzie's Review

School this week has been fun so far. I learned Math, Language, Spanish and Bible. I also learned alot of spelling. My favorite lesson in Math was learning about properties. My favorite lesson in Language was the four types of sentences. My favorite lesson in Bible was all of them. And last is Spanish. My favorite lesson in Spanish was all of them because that's my favorite.

Trevor's Review

My Week at Homeschool

So far this school year at home has been easy as apple pie.  This week was really cool and I understood alot of my work. Mom was a really good and nice teacher this week. I learned so many new things and mom learned some things that she didn't know.

So if I were to describe homeschooling it would be, HOMESCHOOL IS AWESOMEEE!!!!

Mom's Review

I did it...I completed my first week. I'm sitting back now wondering why I was so afraid of starting this last year. I am so thankful for the support of my friends and family. I'm thankful that my husband lovingly pushed me and believed in me enough to do this. For my friends who didn't call me crazy when I told you and sent encouraging messages during my first week, thank you <3 My mom and sister who are a constant source of support, thank you. And thank you to those who were patient with me while I asked you a BILLION questions, for pointing me in the right direction and for encouraging me along the way (:



Adventures in Homeschooling - Day 4

We took an impromptu field trip to the Animal Control Center to rescue our dog, who apparently had been there since going missing on Friday. He slipped through the cracks somehow and they forgot to post his info on their website until Wednesday. Thank God they remembered because as of yesterday he was eligible for adoption :/

Trevor took his first Geometry quiz today and only missed one! He was so proud and so was I. I am pleasantly surprised at how well he has transitioned into this new school setting. Yesterday he took it upon himself to do extra work in an area that he has struggled in for years (:

My mini me (Kenzie) is loving being home but not loving the fact that she has to do ACTUAL school work. Her resistance is putting my patience to the test. We talked yesterday about what she thought homeschooling would be like. I shared some of my fears about it too. Change is not easy for me and apparently not so easy for her. I guess we are going to need some time to work out these misconceptions and get into the groove.

We watched some videos about some misconceptions and had a good laugh (:

Lisa stopped by for a visit today!! Kenzie was excited because she got some help with her work from someone who was a little less frustrated (:

Rhylee has been such a trooper about sharing her time with her brother and sister. She's even getting in on the action and getting some lessons from her big sister!

I do think vowels are a little advanced for a 7 month old but Rhylee seems to enjoy it!!





Adventures in Homeschooling - Day 3

Day 3 is complete...not as easy as yesterday but all in all, not a bad day.

I'm getting some resistance from a certain student and I'm having to remind myself to be patient because this is new for all of us.

While going over Trevor's English lesson today I gained a new respect for those trying to learn the language. There are so many rules and some of them make no sense to me. Thank goodness for Google!

It's only the third day and I'm already noticing where the kids are struggling with things they should have learned years ago. It's great having that one on one with them because we can take as much time as we need to make sure they really grasp the concept. I love seeing that "aaaahhhh" moment when they finally get it. There's alot of high fives and corny dancing going on around here (:

The biggest accomplishment of the day came from my tiniest student. She learned how to eat puffs without choking AND finally figured out how to get her drink out of her sippy cup.

Very exciting day around here (:

Our little cheese-burger



Adventures in Homeschooling - I SURVIVED DAY 2

What a difference a day makes!!

I started our day prepared for anything to go wrong and EVERYTHING went so right!!!

Rhylee joined us for part of our Bible lesson

Trevor working on Geometry

Rhylee watching The Letter Factory while I finished up Language with Kenzie

Kenzie was excited to learn that she could bring Kanani to school (:

Day 2 - Kenzie's Review

Today I had lessons in Math, Language, Spanish and Bible.

My favorite subject was Spanish because it was alot of fun. I liked learning new Spanish words.

In Math I learned about place value.

In Language I learned how to write a correct sentence. The incorrect sentences they used were funny.

And in Bible I learned all about Adam and Eve's family tree. I also learned that Noah named one of his kids Ham! I like ham (:


Kenzie

Day 2 - Trevor's Review

 So far homeschooling has been really great. Mom has been a pretty cool teacher so far. I hope it'll stay like this as long as we are homeschooled.

Yesterday I was pretty nervous because I didn't know how things would go. I was glad that we only had one lesson yesterday because it made it easier to start homeschooling.

Today we had more lessons. I worked on English II, Geometry, Bible and Speech and Communications. I did pretty good on all of my lessons except Speech and Communications; it was kind of hard. Next week I will start Spanish, Biology and US History.

I'm really looking forward to Science and the experiments we'll do. I also am looking forward to the field trips we'll be able to take.

T.A.G

Adventures in Homeschooling...Day 1

School at Monarch Prep is officially in session and the first day was....well.....

We started off the day by reviewing the meaning of our school name and verse.

I let the kids come up with some rules...here are a few of my favorites

No wondering eyes

No drawing on yourself

If you have to pass gas, say excuse me

and my favorite.....

No being distracted by Rhylee's cheeks

(I totally understand why this one made the list)

We got off to a great start and my confidence was high.....that was short lived. I was so thankful for the encouraging messages and calls I received this morning from my mom and friends, they were much needed and appreciated.

Only one subject on the calendar for today: Bible. The story: Creation. Easy enough, right?

I printed off my material, had three concordances handy and two computers for the kids to follow along with the lesson online.

I soon realized that I only printed half the lesson, then the computers starting acting up and we were unable to use them to watch the videos, Rhylee was not cooperating and I could see the kids loosing focus and then began the spiral....grrrrrrr

But I was so prepared, I had my notes and papers all organized in a cute new folder that my in-laws bought. I had read the lesson and even had a fun activity planned in lieu of answering questions. I prayed that morning for patience with my new students and myself.

So what happened?

Life

Like everything else, the way I approached homeschooling was all wrong.

I put too much confidence in MY ability.

My focus was on how great a first day I could create.

On what a great teacher I was going to be.

See the pattern :/

We wrapped up the first day, I finished my chores and started dinner. Then Jarrod came home...poor Jarrod.

Cue the water works.

Is it normal to cry on your first day of school when you're the teacher?

I sure hope so.

After a wonderful foot massage and some encouraging words I looked back at the pictures I took today and ya know what....our day wasn't that bad.

The kids had two assignments today, write a short essay about their feelings about being homeschooled and come up with a creative way to teach someone about the story of Creation.

Trevor's Creation Storybook

Trevor's book was great...it walked you through each day adding to the picture until it was complete. He even made up a song to go with it!

Mackenzie's Creation Diorama

Kenzie went in a different direction and used her Littlest Petshop toys and of course her Lalaloopsy dolls. (Yes, that is God resting in the bed duck taped to the sky. Adam and Eve are duck taped in the bottom corner)


Rhylee trying to help out by feeding herself (:





4 weeks to 6 months

My Family

My plan was to blog at least every four months but as you can see, I'm a little behind...but with good reason, my new job keeps me super busy.

First, I feel like I owe all stay at home moms an apology. One of my concerns about staying home was that I was going to be bored...I'm sure all my SAHM friends are laughing very loudly right now.

Mackenzie, Trevor & Rhylee

These three monkeys keep me from getting bored (:

Shortly after my last post, Rhylee had a check up with the pediatrician. While we were there,  the doctor had me fill out a questionnaire about postnatal depression. I was not concerned about "passing" because I felt fine.

To my surprise, the doctor came in and was concerned about my answers.  He encouraged me to talk with my doctor about the results. I have to say I was little offended......ok so yes I was a little emotional and yes I had some anxiety but I did just have a baby and I was functioning on little to no sleep on most days.

After I finished "venting" to Jarrod, he gently and lovingly said "I agree with the doctor." Being the calm rational person I am I said ok honey....NOT!! I won't get into the details but thankfully I'm still married (:

So I scheduled an appointment and talked with my doctor and he suggested that it wouldn't hurt to take anti depressants. He said he wasn't too concerned but thought that the medication would help keep my emotions in check. What was wrong with me? Was I not trusting in God enough? I had a husband who was helping me above and beyond anything I could have asked for and amazing friends and family who were always around hanging out and helping. So why was I depressed?

After a lot of prayers and some encouraging truth from friends I began taking the medication and started feeling much better.

Rhylee 4 mos

I was thankful for the help because we had a rough time with Rhylee between 2 and 4 months. Looking back it doesn't seem so bad but while we were in the midst of it I thought we'd never make it. Rhylee would cry for hours on end...we'd do everything we could to try and help her but nothing worked. And sleep...forget about it!

Jarrod was a life saver during this time. I'm not sure how he did it but he managed to keep everything from spiraling out of control around here. He would work all day, sometimes leaving at 2 am and not getting home until 7 or 8 at night, and come home and take care of Rhylee so I could get some sleep. He would clean up, do laundry and keep the kids so I could get a break.

And here we are now, 6 months later and all those issues seem like a lifetime ago (: We've finally started getting back into our routine. Rhylee is doing great and has become such an easy baby, praise Jesus (:

While I'm watching Rhylee's little personality grow, I'm learning so much about Trevor and Mackenzie. I've always been involved but being home full time with them has allowed me to get to know so much more about them.

Next month they'll start school, and I'll be their teacher. I'm a little nervous, ok let me stop lying, I'm scared to death, but I'm so excited!

I'm glad that I'm taking on the challenge of homeschooling because Trevor will be 16 this week and although he is very smart, his autism has made it difficult for him to learn essential social and life skills that he desperately needs. Being home with him has given me so many opportunities to help him with that.

So here we go......off on a new adventure (:

4 weeks already?!

Where does the time go? I planned on blogging my first week home and as you can see, I'm a little late...welcome to life with an infant (:

Rhylee made her debut 3 weeks early and was delivered by csection on Wednesday January 4th. She was born at 8:10 in the morning, weighed 7lbs 10oz and was 19 1/2 inches long. 

Despite the fact that a csection was the last thing I wanted, my delivery went well. Jarrod was the only one allowed in the operating room but my friend Nicole (Cole), sister Melissa and my mom were all there with me before surgery. Nicole met us at the hospital bright and early, 5:30 am, which meant the world to me because mornings are not her favorite time of the day (; And it was comforting to have my sister, who played such a big part in my pregnancy, and my mom there with me.

When I arrived they prepped me for surgery, which turned out to be a little much for Jarrod to handle that early in the morning and on an empty stomach. The nurse had issues with my IV which made me bleed excessively. On top of dealing with me being upset by them poking me, the nurse asked for Jarrod's help while she tried to stop the bleeding. He did but then he quickly excused himself to get some air and food before he passed out. Of course me and Cole got a kick out of it and it provided us with lots of entertainment at his expense.

I was doing ok up until the point when the doctor walked in and said it was time to go. I asked the doctor for a minute to pray with everyone and when we were done we headed to the operating room. My mom was so cute, she walked with us to the doors and tried to persuade the doctor to let her in too. After he told her that he couldn't do that, she asked if someone could get her from the waiting room if Jarrod passed out. I love my mom.

I had to go in the operating room alone so they could get everything ready and give me my spinal. I had to keep speaking truth to myself to help fight the tears because I was afraid if I let one tear fall I wouldn't be able to stop. I kept thinking of RJ while I sat on that table and of all the times he had been poked and cut and how he kept a smile on his face in spite of all that.

I know my fear is not rational but it didn't come from nowhere. When I was 16 and pregnant with Trevor I had never been in the hospital. I labored with him for a day and half with no progress so they decided that a csection was necessary for his safety and mine. All I remember is being strapped to a bed and being in a cold room while they worked on me. No one said a word and when it was over I was sewn and stapled then put to sleep to recover in ICU. When I woke up the pain was so intense, I couldn't walk, cough or sneeze without wanting to die. I know lots of babies are born this way but when you're young it's something that sticks with you and it left me a little traumatized to say the least.

So while I sat on the table waiting for Rhylee to be delivered I tried to block my earlier experience out and focus on what was important, a healthy baby. Once I was prepped and ready they let Jarrod in which made me feel a little better. He sat down in the chair beside me and then they started. A different kind of fear took over then, the fear that Rhylee wouldn't be ok. We went into that room thinking that her lungs could possibly not be fully developed and that she could have downs.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard the doctor say she's breech, which was a surprise to everyone, but we've almost got her. I think Jarrod and I both were holding our breath. Then the doctor said she's here...we sat there waiting to hear her cry and after a few seconds she belted out and we both started crying. Jarrod had been so squeamish earlier but when he heard his little girl cry I think he forgot all about where we were and what they were doing and he got right up to see her. I kept asking what does she look like? Is she ok?

They wrapped her up and handed her to Jarrod and he came and sat down beside me. It's funny because at that moment it wasn't Rhylee that I couldn't stop staring at, it was Jarrod holding her. I don't know why but seeing him holding his little girl with his eyes full of tears was beyond amazing to me. I don't think I will ever love him more than I did at that moment.

So here we are.....four weeks later. I'm still adjusting to life with an infant. I'm finally realizing that sleep is more important than laundry or vacuuming. Motherhood is definitely different this time around because I'm in a different place than I was with Trevor and Mackenzie.

And I have been so blessed by so many friends and family willing to help with meals, housework, taking care of me and Rhylee or just hanging out. Jarrod has been amazing too!! I have to say I underestimated how involved he would be because of how much he works. I can't think of a time in our marriage where he has been more in tune to my emotions and needs than now. He knows when I need to go bed early and he'll pull night shift with our girl. And without fail, when the weekend comes he stays with Rhylee all night so I can get a full night of uninterrupted sleep which does wonders for my attitude (: He also encourages me to get out for a few hours with friends on the weekend. I've gained a new appreciation for him.

HaPpY oNe MoNtH rHyLeE!!

~HaPpY nEw YeAr~

Ever heard the saying, "Want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans"? As I look back at 2011 this quote is ringing in my head.

2011 started off like any other year...I made a list of resolutions; put my family first, volunteer more, continue to pursue foster parenting, get healthy, blah blah blah.

The year started off good...I joined a gym, planned more family time and Jarrod and I signed up to begin foster parenting classes. After trying to conceive for 2 years we had resolved that biological children might not be in God's plan for us, and we were ok with that. Fostering is something that has always been on my heart and after a mission trip, Jarrod saw a need in fostering too. 

Early in the year I decided to pursue my dream of working in law enforcement. Sounds crazy to go from children's ministry to busting criminals but its always been something I've wanted to to do but because I was a single mom, it just didn't seem like the best career choice for me until I got married.

I had worked at In the Beginning for 11 years and was scared to tell my employer my plans of leaving the ministry but she couldn't have been more supportive. She encouraged me to follow my heart and so I did.  

Jarrod was hesitant about it but supported my decision so in March I began my application process with the city and sheriffs department. At the time both had a hiring freeze so on the suggestion of a friend who was in law enforcement I applied with the Department of Corrections. To my surprise things moved very quickly!! By mid April I had applied, tested and completed all of my background checks and was given a job offer at the Women's Correctional Facility in Raleigh.  

I put notice in at my job and began preparing myself for my new career....all the while I was unaware that God was preparing me for something else (o:

In mid May Jarrod and I discovered we were expecting! After trying for over 2 years you would think I would have been ecstatic but the truth was I was a little upset about the timing. I was finally following MY dreams and MY plan for my life, and a baby did not fit into that plan.

One of the first things Jarrod and I discussed was my new job with the prison. He is not the type of husband to put his foot down but there have been a few times in our marriage where he has been adamant about his decision and I know not to push the issue and me working in the prison while pregnant was something he wasn't going to budge on.

I was faced with the decision to stay at my job, which I knew wasn't God's will, or be a stay at home mom which wasn't mine.

I left my job at the beginning of June and spent the summer with Trevor and Mackenzie. I enjoyed the summer because I got to spend some quality time with my kids and I wasn't burdened by the responsibilities of working and caring for my family. Jarrod wanted me to home school that fall and although I tried to wrap my mind around that and prepare myself for it, I just couldn't. I didn't want to be home let alone be responsible for teaching my kids and trusting that I was going to be a patient and effective teacher for them.

Once the kids went back to school and I was left to face the reality that I was now a stay at home mom...I made things unpleasant quick. I was bitter and wanted recognition and validation that what I was doing was still important. Thank God for my husbands patience and love because those first couple of months were rough. Jarrod would compliment me on everything I was doing around the house and even though he worked all day he would come home willing to help in whatever way he could.

Looking back now I feel so dumb that I was so angry about staying home. We've had a few health scares with the baby, dealt with some financial hardships and had some good friends that thankfully weren't shy about speaking truth to me when I needed it most that really helped put things in perspective for me. Now I'm so thankful for everyday I get to be home. I actually find joy in serving my family and being here for them. Being home with them has made me realize how much I've missed.  What a difference a year makes in your priorities (:

So for 2012 I resolve to do one thing......go with the flow and follow God's plan for my life.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Merry Christmas

MeRrY cHrIsTmAs EvErYoNe!!!

Jarrod, Dawn, Trevor, Mackenzie & Rhylee

So Very Blessed

It's hard to remember how blessed you are when things aren't going well. Like when money is low and bills are many or a relative is struggling with cancer.......and on and on. I try to remind myself during the difficult times that somebody, somewhere is dealing with far more than I am and regardless if I understand why........God is always fully in control and doesn't forget me.

But when the love and generosity of family, friends and strangers is flowing in abundance I am overwhelmed by God's provision and blessings in my life! I am amazed at how many care for this little girl and we haven't even seen her yet!!!!

When Jarrod and I made the decision for me to stay home while pregnant and after Rhylee is born instead of working at the prison, I was worried. I am a controller....the idea of cutting our income in half, while we're still paying off debt, and trusting that God would provide was unbelievably scary to me!! Jarrod on the other hand, with his usual calm nature, was like it'll all work out.

Jarrod was so right!!!! Month after month are bills have been paid and almost all of the expenses associated with having a baby have been taken care of for us!!!

My sister hosted a shower for me and when I got home and unpacked all the gifts, I cried. I was so overwhelmed at how many friends and family came to help and hang out and at God's provision for this little girl.

I am so thankful for every kind word, prayer, card, gift and well wishes that we have received!! May God continue to bless your lives like you have blessed ours!!!!



Rhylee....

Things went really well at Duke this morning!! Although they can't rule out downs 100%, they did say that based on all of Rhylee's measurements her risk is cut in half!!! 

I was amazed at how much detail we could see today...we saw all four chambers of her heart and the blood flowing through it..her kidneys, bladder, intestines, brain....and on and on!! She was sooooo busy today too! Every time the tech would get a good view of something she was trying to measure Rhylee would flip over! We all got a laugh out of that because the girls in our family aren't always so compliant :D                               

It was so touching the number of texts and messages I got this morning from friends and family. Honestly I think they were more nervous than Jarrod and I were. It's hard to explain the calm we felt this morning but we were and are truly at peace with whatever God's plan is for our little girl.

Asher Daniel Chappell 08.09.08

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are you works; my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, I am still with you."

Psalm 139:13-18

I am so grateful to Dan & Casey for sharing Asher's story. Their faith and Asher's sweet face has never been forgotten.

Happy Birthday Asher!

~The Tucks

Rhylee vs Presley.....Putting Things in Perspective

It's a girl!! At least that's what we've been told :D

Rhylee is the winning name in our home even though I really like the name Presley. I've still got some time to try and sway my family. I did however get to pick her middle name which is Michelle. This name is so special to me because it's the middle name of one of my dearest friends, Lisa. We've been friends since we were 7 and 8. I'm the cute one on the bottom :D

Lisa introduced me to Jarrod and when my nerves got the best of me, she was the reason I made it down the aisle to get married :o) So without her, our baby girl wouldn't be here.

Jarrod and I had been trying for over 2 years and I was a little frustrated to say the least. Jarrod however, being the patient man he is, would assure me that it would happen in God's time and that there was a reason for everything. At the time the positivity made me want to ring his neck but now I appreciate his patience :D We had many fertility tests done and found out that there was no medical reason why we weren't conceiving. Instead of devastating me it reminded me and gave me a new found appreciation for how much God is in control. 

Jarrod and I found out we were expecting when I was about 4 weeks. We met with the doctor at 6 weeks and were able to hear the heartbeat which I thought was amazing!! Our baby looked like a blob but it already had this strong beating heart.

Once we heard the heartbeat and felt comfortable that things were alright, we began to worry about all the important stuff...you know like what our nursery theme would be...what names we liked, etc.

All of those things became very trivial on the evening of July 25th.  A week earlier I had some genetic screenings done and the results were in....our blood work showed that our baby was at risk for having downs.

Jarrod and I were at a loss for words. The doctor told us our options for additional testing and wanted us to go to Duke in the following days. After the shock wore off, Jarrod and I sat down and talked about what we wanted to do.

As a wife, you love and admire your husband but there are moments when you look at him in complete and utter love and admiration and it just melts you....this was one of those times for me.

His very first reaction was she's ours....regardless of what, she's our daughter and this isn't the worst thing that could happen.

Two days later when we went to Duke, we both felt confident in whatever God's plan for us was and that we weren't going to have any of the more invasive testing because they did pose a slight risk to our girl. We both knew that the results didn't change anything so why chance it.

A very nice genetic counselor at Duke sat down with us and explained what our risk was and what all the numbers meant. They scheduled a level 2 ultrasound for us at the end of August. This will measure the babies bones and check for heart defects and other markers for downs. The test is only 50% accurate so until our little girl makes it here, we won't know.

Without hope in Christ, I'm not sure how people handle things like this. I already had dreams for her and in my mind I could already see all the girly things we would do together.

I love my sister Melissa and when I told her what was going on her immediate reaction was, we're going to love her and paint her fingernails and take her to the American Girl doll store and do all the things we were going to do because this doesn't change anything.

Our family was also just as supportive. We are so blessed by all the support we have. Another blessing is that one of my great friends and sister in Christ is living with us right now. Nicole was one of the first people to know what was going on with our baby. She was home the night we got the call about the test results. I love that she's here and I could walk right into her room and unload. We cried and laughed and she encouraged me. She understood that my tears weren't from hopelessness.

Jarrod and I have decided that we won't give into any fear or anxiety because we both know God is bigger than any of this...we're just going to focus on the joy of having our little girl and on the dilemma of naming her Rhylee or Presley :D

Dawn

I CAN GET MY PERMIT!!!

The last day of driving was great because I did good. I passed drivers ed so now I have to take my permit test. I hope I pass so I can get my permit.

Trevor

Day Two......

Day two of drivers ed was great because I did better than yesterday. I drove on an easier highway which made me less nervous. I also drove in an easy neighborhood and I was easy on my braking. I did go around a curve too fast but I did good on the other curves. Mom was really proud that I was not so nervous today.

Trevor

My First Day of Driving

Today was my first day of driving in drivers ed. At first I was very nervous, because it was my first driving in traffic and I wanted to do good. When I drove I was OK, but my braking needs some more training and I need to work on paying attention things around me and which way to go. But the rest was OK thanks to Elaine  for teaching me to drive. 

 Trevor